


Identity

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: At least how she got the name, By Palpatine, Cousin Incest, Father-Daughter Relationship, Flashbacks, Force Ghosts, Force Weirdness, Gen, Grandfather-Granddaughter Relationship, Identity Issues, In a really roundabout way, In a really sad way, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Minor Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Minor Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Missing Scene, Palpatine Is Anakin’s Father, Past Rape/Non-con, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Palpatine, Rey Skywalker, Rey’s Father Was An Awesome Father, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Tags Contain Spoilers, again in a really roundabout way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22021600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Rey comes to grips after Exegol.
Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Rey & Rey’s Father, Sheev Palpatine & Rey
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33
Collections: Allbingo, Finnrey Fanfic Connection





	Identity

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Identity Crisis
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Obvious spoilers for TROS are obvious. Also, warning for triggering content regarding incest and rape.

  
She isn’t Rey-Without-A-Last-Name anymore, she knows that much. She would have almost preferred it, sometimes, not having a last name. She has a feeling as to why Ben didn’t tell her the (full) truth; as devastating as it was to think her parents were drunks who cared nothing for her, the reality of her being related to a monster is enough to make her feel like filth has settled under her skin and she can’t get it out.   
  
Don’t be afraid of where you came from. It’s easier said than done, she thinks. She can remember her grandfather taunting her, showing her her friends being destroyed. Her parents she can now appreciate. All they were willing to do to make sure she didn’t fall into her grandfather’s hands. She wonders if her vision of the Rey holding a red lightsaber was what she could have been, had Palpatine found her. Had her parents not gotten her away from him in time.   
  
She shudders to think about it. Her, doing the same things Ben did as Kylo. Killing. Torturing. It scares her, how close she could have been to becoming _that._  
  
She made the right choice. Even sitting in her quarters, she knows that much. She wasn’t him. And yet she wonders if this will be lodged under her skin for the rest of her life. This part of her she wishes she didn’t have.   
  
***  
  
She expects Finn to bolt when she tells him. She supposes she wouldn’t blame him if he did. Instead, his eyes...they’re clearly shocked, but nonetheless, it’s clear that he doesn’t think any less of her. “Rey...it’s not your fault.”  
  
Rey swallows. “I still wonder if Ben knew,” she says. “When he knew.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter,” Finn says. “Whatever he said, he just said it to hurt you.”  
  
Long ago, Rey would have agreed. Now...now, she isn’t sure. True, Ben did a lot to hurt her, but he did the right thing in the end. Defying Palpatine. Freeing himself from his control. Saving her — even at the cost of his own life.   
  
She thinks back to the kiss they shared. It was impulsive — she had been attached to Ben, because they were alike (if different in all the ways that mattered). Because she had felt his loneliness that he tried to hide. There had been cracks in his façade as early as the bridge on the Starkiller planet. Seeing the monster cry — it had confused her. She’d wondered if she’d faked his tears to get closer to Han to kill him, as she’d headed into hyperspace to Ach-To.   
  
They were alike. Different backgrounds, but similarities that couldn’t be scrubbed away. And she had thought...  
  
“Finn,” she says. “There’s something more.” Even as she tells him about the kiss, she studies his face. A flash of jealousy, confusion — then understanding.   
  
“I guess I shouldn’t judge,” Finn says. “Rose and I...we had a moment, on Crait. She nearly died saving my life. Me.” He sounds bewildered, like he hasn’t really considered why.   
  
Hesitantly, Rey reaches out to touch Finn’s hand. “Anyone would,” she says. Then, “Finn...I cared about Ben, or thought I did, but kissing him also felt weird. Like...” She trails off. “He’s not you. With Ben, I felt like there was a piece of me that was missing. With you, I just don’t feel alone." A beat. “Around you, I feel happy.”  
  
Finn smiles, faintly. “So do I.”  
  
They don’t kiss. Rey does touch his hand, lay her fingers atop his.   
  
***  
  
Researching her history, Rey realizes she’s more than “just” a Palpatine. Her mother was from an ordinary background. Her father was from royalty — and from what Rey reads, abused by his father. Even reading over the records of Trias Palpatine, Rey’s heart aches for her father. No wonder he thought anywhere was better than being raised as the Emperor’s heir.   
  
And she remembers:  
  
 _“Whoa!” Her father laughs, a bit scared-sounding. “Rey, sweetheart, you don’t want to hold that; bad things’ll happen if you don’t use it right.”  
  
“Pretty!” Rey says. She’s two years old, curious about her father’s shiny weapon.  
  
“It is,” her father agrees. “You don’t get one until you’re older, little heroine. Lightsabers aren’t for kids. Well, the Jedi sure thought so, but what do they know?”  
  
“What Jedi?” Rey says.  
  
“Well, they’re supposed to be peacekeepers.” Her father sighs as he speaks. “That was a while ago. Of course, some poor fool’s trying to bring them back. Force knows why.”  
  
Rey looks up at her father — her troubled, yet comforting father. "Be fwiends with Jedi?”  
  
Now her father looks uncomfortable. “I don’t know if we can, Rey. They hate us, the Jedi. See, Jedi and Sith are natural enemies. Some came from the Jedi, some didn’t.”  
  
“Gwandpa a Jedi?”  
  
Trias shakes his head. “As far as I understand it, no. But others were. The Sith usually want to reform the galaxy, the Jedi usually want to be as necessary as screen doors on a submersible. Your grandfather’s not a good man, but the idea of the Sith, of taking the worst of the galaxy and healing it...that’s not bad.”  
  
Rey doesn’t completely process all of it. She’s only two, after all. She grins, and says, “I wanna have my own wightsaber!”  
  
Trias chuckles, a little nervously. "When you’re older. If you got injured wielding one, your mother would be furious.” A beat. “But you’ll be brave, little heroine. You'll be amazing, and I’ll be proud every step of the way.”  
  
_  
  
Rey knows better now. She knows her father wasn’t perfect. There were instances he was wrong about the Jedi. But he loved her.   
  
***  
  
It’s Finn who tells her about the old Imperial records about Anakin Skywalker. Finn’s been searching, of course, looking for any other traces of Imperial remnants they can at least take into custody, stormtroopers they can free (and Jannah’s been helping, of course), things of that nature. When he shows her the records the Emperor set up for creating Anakin, he looks flabbergasted. "So this was planned?” he says.   
  
“From the start.” Rey mourns for Shmi Skywalker even as she reads over the document, a woman already in captivity who was exploited for it. Did she know what happened? Rey doubts it. “So if my father was in a way Anakin’s brother, or half-brother...I’m Anakin’s niece. So in a way, we’re...cousins.”   
  
Rey swears that her brain comes to a screeching halt in that moment. _I kissed my cousin._ What was she thinking? And now...now she may be the last Skywalker left in the most technical of ways.   
  
Finn doesn’t laugh, thank the Force. “You didn’t know,” he says. “Really.”   
  
“Well, I’m glad you still like me. Even if I did kiss my likely cousin.”  
  
Finn smiles, faintly. “Of course I do.”  
  
Somehow, she wonders if Finn was going to say something more.   
  
  
***  
  
Trias visits her after her talk with Finn. Her father looks different than he does in her memories — he looks steady, peaceful. Rey swallows, already feeling close to tears. “Dad?”  
  
“It’s me. Rey...you did it. You’ve been so incredibly brave, and I am so proud of you.”  
  
Rey nods. Then, “I missed you, and you weren’t there.” Her voice cracks even as she speaks.   
  
“I know, little heroine.” Trias looks at her, steadily, sadly. “Your mother and I...we wondered if it was the right thing to do. Taking you to Jakku.”  
  
“I waited fourteen years.”  
  
Trias nods. “I don’t know what kind of life you had since we left you.”  
  
“It...hurt.” Rey can still remember Plutt’s cruelty, how it ground her down over time. How it got to the point that when Plutt kriffed her over again, she hated him quietly, but didn’t object. “I thought for so many years that I deserved what I got. From Plutt. I didn’t think I deserved better. And Finn came along, and he was the first person who suggested I meant something. That I was important.”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Trias says. “It’s not enough to make up for what I did to you. What we did to you. Your mother...when she was pregnant with you, I was scared. Your grandfather was cruel, and I was afraid I would be like him. I didn’t scream at you or hit you, but in my own way, I hurt you, little heroine.”  
  
Rey swallows. “Thank you.”  
  
“It’s the least I can do. I made a lot of mistakes raising you, Rey, but you were a gift to us. One of the few good things in the life I led.”   
  
Rey can already feel tears pricking her eyes. They’re not sad tears, though. They’re relieved tears.   
  
Trias continues. “I’m sorry I did very little right. But I am lucky that you are my daughter.”  
  
“You did good. Along with the...not-so-good.” Besides telling her about lightsabers, Rey can remember her mother soothing her after a nightmare. Her father, trying to tie up her hair, eventually getting it into the three buns that simply stuck. Her mother, teaching her about droids, how to repair them. They had taught her so much that she hadn’t learned on Jakku, even the Force. “I just don’t know what to do next. Just about all my family is dead.”  
  
“That depends,” her father says. “I don’t blame you if you abandon the name ‘Palpatine’. It’s a name that could have been grand, but your grandfather associated atrocities with it.”  
  
“I don’t know if I can just take on that last name. They’d call for my head. And...Palpatine was no grandfather to me. Or family.”  
  
“You’ll take on your mother’s name?”  
  
“Actually,” Rey says. “According to research I did...you’re good as Anakin Skywalker’s brother.”  
  
Trias looks speechless. Rey continues, tells him about the fact Palpatine raped Shmi Skywalker using the Force. How Anakin was the result. Trias listens, sorrowfully. “It’s not uncharacteristic for him to do,” he said. “I was the result of rape myself. I didn’t tell you what happened to your grandmother; you were too young to know the truth. But your grandfather was abusive towards your grandmother. Saw her as more of a tool than someone to love. I doubt your grandfather was capable of caring for anyone. If he had any love, the Dark Side likely ground it out of him.”  
  
Rey knows she has to mourn for her grandmother as well. How she was yet another example of what Palpatine was willing to do in the name of his goals.   
  
“He destroyed so many lives,” she says.   
  
“Yes,” Trias says. “But he’s gone now, and that’s where the healing can begin.”  
  
***  
  
She has work to do. Burying Luke and Leia’s lightsabers, like an informal funeral for two people who were more family to her than her monstrous grandfather ever was. Building a new Order, free of the mistakes of both Jedi and Sith. And more. She takes BB-8 with her, promising Poe she’ll take care of him, no matter what. Poe nods, and it’s one moment when they’re not irritating each other. Rey can be grateful for that.   
  
She knows who she wants to be. Skywalker. Rey Skywalker. It does have a certain ring to it, she thinks. She has other bits of work to do, naturally, and she’ll get to those. (Maybe even finding a way to bring Ben home, if only for Poe’s sake) And from there, Rey has a lot to do.   
  
She just needs to get to it.


End file.
